Fear of Being Seen
Allowing yourself to feel fear and move through it
The audacity to cast myself as a background character in the life I was born to lead—as if I was unworthy of receiving the very desires placed in my heart.
How Does The Fear of Being Seen Happen?
We are born to be seen. To explore, create, teach and express ourselves authentically, whole, and unfractured. But somewhere along the way, being seen became dangerous for the ones around us.
As children, if we were met with criticism, punishment, or emotional withdrawal when we expressed ourselves authentically, our nervous system began associating visibility with pain.
A child who was “too loud,” “too emotional,” or “too much” might have been told to tone it down.
A child who asked questions or shined too brightly might have been shamed or told they were “showing off,” or "talking back."
So naturally, we learned: It was safer to shrink, to blend in, to stay quiet, to accept without question, and just do as you're told; even though what we heard didn't always align with what we saw.
Humans are wired to belong. In tribal times, being accepted by the group = survival, belonging.
To be seen as different, “too much,” “weird,” or “not enough” could mean rejection—which the brain reads as a threat to life.
So we perform. We mask. We divide ourselves.
We develop what psychologists call a "false self" to avoid disapproval.
The authentic self gets tucked away, out of fear that it will cost us love or acceptance. While not knowing that is the very poison that kills spirit, joy, and can cause health conditions.
This fear is often passed down in BIPOC communities. Generational messages like “don’t draw attention to yourself” or “you have to be twice as good to survive” are rooted in real historical threats.
Religious upbringing: Being seen in your full truth may have been labeled as prideful, sinful, or rebellious.
Gender roles: Girls and women are often conditioned to be “nice,” “agreeable,” “quiet,” or “pretty but not too bold.”
This creates a fear that authenticity will disrupt the system, and disruption feels unsafe.
Being visible—especially emotionally or creatively—can activate your fight-or-flight.
Why? Because you're vulnerable. You risk judgment. And you risk abandonment or embarrassment.
The nervous system is trying to protect you… from a past that may no longer be real.
To be seen in your fullness also means to be seen as powerful. And power comes with:
Responsibility
Accountability
Exposure
and The potential to be misunderstood or envied
So sometimes, the fear of being seen is actually the fear of owning your shine.
I created an acronym to break down how fear was negativity impacting my life.
✍🏾 F.E.A.R.
F – Forgetting my power
~ I forgot I was the lead. I let doubt, conditioning, and shame convince me I wasn’t enough. I handed my power to people, systems, expectations—none of which ever truly saw me.
E – Escaping responsibility
~ It felt safer to stay small. Because if I truly owned my desires, I’d have to act on them. I’d have to show up. I’d have to risk. And I wasn’t ready for that. So I hid. I ran. I made excuses.
A – Abandoning myself
~ I stopped listening to my own heart. I quieted my voice. I put everyone else's needs above my own. I didn’t just abandon my dreams—I abandoned me.
R – Rejecting my birthright
~ Deep down, I didn’t believe I was worthy of receiving what was already mine. I rejected my desires like they were delusions. But they were divine. Planted.
Sacred. And only meant for me.
✒️When you see the letters, F.E.A.R., what words come up for you?
It was silly, but I saw myself on YouTube and for some reason, I felt afraid to watch my video. I have a private account and a public account. The algorithm had never shown me my videos from my other channel before, so it was unexpected and for some reason, a bit cringe. I had to ask myself where was this fear coming from and move through it, gracefully.
In the end, I was afraid no one had seen it and guess what? No one had! It had 0 views, so I watched it and moved through the fear of being seen, not being seen, rejection, abandonment, all of it.
"I" see myself and "I" showed up for myself, so in the end, it was a win. I put myself out there and learned that the only validation that mattered was the one from me.
Fear can hinder your personal growth, your health (mental, emotional, physical), effect your relationships, and when kept unchecked- it can overpower your emotions and effect decision making.
And although it can be useful in some cases, it can also be crippling.
Florence Scovel Shinn taught this very thing. Her core message revolved around the idea that fear is simply inverted faith. She believed that fear is a manifestation of a belief in negative outcomes rather than positive ones, and that by shifting one's focus to faith, one can overcome obstacles and manifest desired outcomes.
“Be strong! Fear not; Fear is man’s only adversary. You face defeat whenever you are fearful! Fear of lack! Fear of failure! Fear of loss! Fear of personality! Fear of criticism! Fear robs you of all power, for you have lost your contact with the Universal Power House. “Why are ye fearful, Oh ye of little faith?” Fear is inverted faith. It is faith turned upside down. When you are fearful you begin to attract the thing you fear: you are magnetizing it. You are hypnotized by the race thought when you are afraid.” ~Florence Scovel Shinn
She also spoke of how it is impossible to serve two masters. "If you are afraid, you are giving in to a belief in two powers, Good and Evil, instead of one. As God is absolute, there can be no opposing power, unless man makes the false of evil for himself... Nothing stands between man and his highest ideals and every desire of his heart, but doubt and fear.”
I want to do a Juicebox Rapid Fire to help explore the root of fear and the anxiety that comes with it & help develop strategies to overcome it.
Talking to your fears out loud or keeping a journal of what your feeling anxious about will allow you to work through them face to face. You can recognize patterns in behavior. It is a very vulnerable exercise, but this can also be very empowering. There is no judgement nor shame here. Full accountability. Honesty. Presence. No excuses.
With patience, practice, and self-compassion, you can slowly work through overcoming your fear of being seen.
Alright, Juicebox Rapid Fire... no time to overthink, just answer with the first thing that comes to mind.
🧃JUICEBOX RAPID FIRE: FEAR OF BEING SEEN EDITION
1. When you experience fear/anxiety of being seen, where do you feel it in your body? (e.g., queezy gut, butterflies, tightness in chest)
2. Name a specific situation that triggered this fear
3. What do you imagine others are thinking or feeling when they see you?
4. What are the potential negative outcomes you anticipate?
5. If your inner critic had a name, what would it be?
6. What's a compliment you still are challenged with believing?
7. If "imposter syndrome" had a costume, what would it wear?
8. What part of yourself do you hide the most when you enter a room?
9. When you imagine being fully seen and celebrated, what's the first emotion that shows up?
10. What would it mean to you to be seen as you are, without trying to hide or present a false self?
11. What are your earliest memories of feeling self-conscious or worried about being judged?
12. What would it look like to allow yourself to be seen as imperfect?
13. Does your fear and/or anxiety relate to perfectionism?
14. Does your fear and/or anxiety relate to abandonment?
15. Is there a pattern of self-sabotage when you are on the verge of achieving something or being seen in a positive light?
16. Whose opinion of you truly matters?
💚Whew! That was very brave of you. If you answered just ONE of those, you just told the truth and your truth deserves the spotlight.
📝Journal Prompts to help you Innerstand your Fears and Anxiety related to Being Seen and Help Overcome Them:
1. What fears do I have around being authentic? (heard, seen, fully expressing my artistic self) When do I first remember feeling this fear? Who or what taught me that it wasn't fully safe?
2. When I feel fear, is it based on facts or fiction? If it is based on facts, what are those facts? If it is based on fiction, what are the actual facts?
3. What does this fear feel it is keeping me safe from? Is it a survival story from the past? Judgement? Embarrassment? Rejection?
4. What internal narrative plays in my head when fear tries to take the lead? Is the voice mine or someone else's?
5. What parts of me, what dreams, what truths, what desires have I silenced in order to avoid discomfort?
6. When I'm afraid, what does my body do? Where does fear live in me? What helps me feel safe, grounded in these moments? How can I show this fear what truth is?
7. If I showed up 10% more authentically today, what would that look like? What would I say, wear, post, express, or allow myself to experience?
8. Even if I feel scared, what's one brave act I can do today that honors who I truly am?
🎧Check out BLOOM Podcast: Episode 7 - Let Fear Be a Compass, airing Sunday, July 13, 2025 at 3pm CST
🌈Meditate further...
What are some small steps you can take to gradually expose yourself to situations that trigger your fear?
How can you practice self-compassion WHEN you experience fear?
What are some affirmations you can use to counter negative self-talk?
What would it be like to focus on your values and strengths rather than on your perceived flaws?
How can you reframe your understanding of what it means to be "seen"?
In what ways can you start to only seek validation from yourself instead of others?
💭 Closing Thoughts…
What if being seen isn’t the threat?
but the portal back to truth, joy, and reclaiming your power?”
Whether positive or negative, it's all energy, it's all information. Feel it and STILL choose to move through it.
You weren’t born afraid to be seen.
You were taught that your light made others uncomfortable.
But that’s not your burden to carry anymore.
💛Prayer of Affirmation:
May you realize the awesomeness of your being.
May you awaken to truth of who you are.
May you be reminded of the gifts and talents you hold.
May you boldly step into your power and confidently show up for yourself as the main character in your life.
It's time to🌷BLOOM🌷
I recently joined Substack and you have just witnessed my very first post. May this be the first of many flourishing thoughts I share as I build a thriving community.
It is my intention to empower and inspire. I'm over being on the sidelines of my life. Tired of survival mode.
I choose to take back my power and step ever so gracefully into “main character energy.” God wants to be expressed through each and every one of us. Who am I to deny that?
I know a life of abundance, peace, ease, and genuine love is available for me, and damnit! I'm cashin in!
Thank you for your comments, loving support- and all that jazz!